Thursday, December 9, 2010

creepy jackalope eye

while i still haven't decided what thursday's theme will be, i'm thinking about centering it around a random word. that is to say, pick a word, write a little something about it, do a google image search and pull something entertaining, see if there are any youtube videos about it. that sort of thing. and this week? that word is "jackalope."



see, i'm in the middle of playing the game red dead redemption at the moment, and apparently there's a download-able jackalope to hunt.

and, i'm in the middle of reading the mental floss history of the united states, which regularly features jackalopes as bullet points in the text to stress a new section.

and and, whilst flipping through the newest issue of decibel magazine (with oderus urungus from gwar on the cover), smack in the middle there's an illustration of a jackalope done by bruno guerreiro.

one might even go so far as to say that the jackalope is, well, breeding like rabbits in my world at the moment.

i've even recently seen a mounted jackalope head for sale in the christmas cabela's catalog.

so, what exactly is a jackalope? well, it's a north american legend, particular to the southwest, and, as i'm sure you've been able to figure out at this point, a rabbit with antlers. before we get into the more "down-to-earth" aspects of the beast, let's talk about some of the more outlandish.

it's said that jackalope milk is extremely beneficial "medicinally" (it'll "melt your butter" so to speak), and that it's somewhat easy to obtain as the jackalope sleeps on its back. best yet, it comes right out of the animal already homogenized, as the power from a jackalope's jump just breaks that fat right down.

just don't attempt to milk it while it's breeding -- beyond being rude, jackalopes apparently only breed in ferocious lightning storms, or possibly even only when lightning strikes the ground (you'd better milk fast, then -- lightning can travel at speeds up to 140,000mph).

if you really want to catch one, though -- leave out some whiskey. the jackalope is partial to the "mountain dew," and will drink it all, slowing it considerably and making it easier to catch. it's a tricky little sucker, though, as it's apparently adept at mimicking human voices, a trait that it uses to throw people off of its trail.

the word's origins, somewhat obviously, lie in the combination of "jackrabbit" and "antelope," and there's even a species of southwestern rabbit, Lepus alleni, that's called the antelope jackrabbit).

and while it may have evolved into the portrait of a cute and cuddly animal, it's thought that the actual origins of the myth may link back to sightings of rabbits with the Shope papilloma virus, which causes growths on the head and body that quite resemble antlers.

but that's kind of depressing.

instead, let us celebrate this weird and wily animal for what it is: a snipe-hunt-styled excuse to fool the gullible.



an iconic symbol to tattoo on yourself:



and to use to promote beer.

a magic card to use to do...something:



and a texan minor league sports team to root for:



and an excuse to have a party.

so to you, my friend the jackalope, i say "cheers."

suggestions for future "random word thursdays," and donations of stuffed jackalope heads are graciously accepted.

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